It begins one week from today.

Two days full of scans, x-rays, lab work, evaluations, work-ups, and meet-ups with doctors, ending in a bone marrow biopsy, have brought us to the precipice of transplant.

I will be checked in to KU Med at 8:00am, Thursday, April 3rd. (This will be known as day -6 as we count down to the day of the transplant.) We will have our consent conference, where we go over all of the information one more time, risks and possible complications, and I sign at the line. I will then have a trifusion catheter put in, and start chemo. This begins my 3-6 weeks of inpatient stuff. I will continue to receive chemo until day -1, which will be a rest day. Then, on Wednesday, April 9th, I will be given Laura's stem cells. It will be my new re-birthday. My re-re-birthday?

Anyhoo. After that, it's feeling like crap and waiting and watching. Anti-emetics, anti-viral, anti-bacterial, anti-rejection, and immunosuppressive drugs will be fed into me one way or another. Careful monitoring for infection, rejection, and Graft-Versus-Host-Disease. Counting down the days to engraftment, counting down the days until I can see my boys again. I keep telling myself that it's trading a small time away for a long life with my family. If this gives me more time with my husband and son, I can make it through a month without them.

After I'm discharged, It's off to an extended stay hotel in KC for the next two months, or until we hit 100 days post-transplant. (In transplant-speak, that's Day 100+) At first I'll go to the clinic for labs every day, then every other day, then once a week. At Day 100+ we do another bone marrow biopsy (ugh) and check to see if my cells are 100% Laura's. They will be. I know it. But if it's not at 100%, then we have to gather more stem cells from Laura and "top it off" (my doctor's words.)

So for the next week, I'm wrapping up loose ends, putting in my last day at work, doing some shopping, preparing, and packing. Mentally preparing while trying to ignore the inevitable.

But mostly, I'm taking in every minute I can with Jazz. Playing and snuggling and breathing him in.


I'm scared and I'm hopeful. I guess that's all there is to say.