Hi, internet.
So, let's see, where did we leave off? Mid October? Shortly after my last post I was diagnosed with parainfluenza. A few weeks of green phlegm, terrible coughing, and a couple days of voice loss and things seemed to get better for almost a week. Then I woke up hacking up green again, and slowly slid into fevers, chills and fatigue.
I was still sick when my husband, with the help of a friend and our families, moved us into a new home in town, closer to work, closer to friends/family, closer to hospitals. I was feverish and barely able to stand. My husband continued, over the next few days, to single handedly move the rest of our boxes and unpack necessities. While taking care of our son and me. Last Thursday, the usual coughing and fatigue changed into something new: chest pain, shortness of breath, dizzy, barely able to stand or walk. I called into work and went to the BMT clinic the next morning, where I was diagnosed with pneumonia.
I know, the fun just doesn't stop with me right!? Ha! Anyhoo.
Brandon put me to bed, tucking new towels under me to catch the sweat and took care of our son so I could stay bedridden for days. He hugged me, kissed me, told me it would get better. Thanked me for being strong.
My mother hooked her arm in mine to help me weakly walk from waiting room to exam room, from exam room to CT scan. She drove me to and from the appointment, and waited with me for 6 hours in stiff chairs for answers and medications.
But I am happy to report that the antibiotics really seem to be doing the trick! I feel better every day. I am still fatigued and weak, but its hard to tell how much of that is the chemo.
Oh, the "new" chemo! Long story short, its two different pills, taken together. Pretty nice not to have to get infusions or lose all my hair, though the nausea and fatigue is pretty brutal. I'm down to the lowest weight of my adult life: a much-too-thin 118 lbs. But I'm eating as much as I can and drinking Ensure when I can't, so hopefully that number will go up soon.
So this is my life for now. Things have been so difficult, but I'm seeing a light at the top of the hole again. The hole doesn't seem so deep, now.
Oh, and I took three classes this semester. I had to get an extension on one of my term papers, but it looks like all As and Bs otherwise.
Sometimes I fear that so much sickness is growing a cynic within me. That it's making me harden. I try to remember:
"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."
Love keeps me afloat.
